alexclerc

Sun, 08 May 2005 03:01:37 GMT

Last week was the busiest week of my life.
A week from last Friday the students of Rose-Hulman held a rally to demonstrate their lack of support for our new president, Dr. Jack Midgley. Also this week the faculty passed a vote of no confidence in Dr. Midgley. I got to write a lot of news this week. Here's proof: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn (May 6, 2005 issue). I pulled an all-nighter writing all that news. But a couple of friends - ely, steve baker, tom, and dave - stayed up with me, which was fun. We all camped out in the lobby together. And at 7 a.m. that morning, I got to sign up for classes for next fall. I'm taking two math classes and its going to be awesome (tom is taking 4... im jealous).
Anna is all done with school so she visited me friday. We watched the wizard of oz in tom's room to pink floyd's dark side of the moon. It was creepy, but i think everyone should do it at least once.
Ok, i dont want to save all my homework for sunday again, so im going to get started. Only two more weeks of classes, then finals, and then im done. yay.

goodbye, spring break '05

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 03:42:51 GMT

Farewell, spring break. I am once again a monk of math and science.
All in all it was a good break. I sat around a lot, played video games with chris and danny, slept. Thursday I went to IU to have lunch with Anna. After that, I took her to a blood drive and we both donated (do I know how to show a girl a good time, or what). Friday morning I went to high school and watched danny's german skit. He was wearing a sausage costume and he rapped in german and then did a break dance. Es war sehr gut. Friday night I went to Josh's house in anderson. It was wild times. Interestingly, josh said that he and ben were going to leave school next year and move to a big city and become famous. I think they should stay in school, but then again, if theres anyone i know that could become famous, its josh and ben.

I meant to get a lot of work done over break, like work ahead and stuff, but I didn't. Normally I would be disappointed in myself for being such a procrastinator, but I'm glad I didn't accomplish anything this week; otherwise, it wouldn't have been a break.

i am born again

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 05:24:47 GMT

Thanks be to Tommy B for reminding me that i actually have a livejournal account.

You last heard from me in the fall. I was probably wigging out about classes or something. I tire of classes.

Reading my old live journal entries was just bizarre. I miss the structure I used to have. I used to be a much better writer, too.
Right now Im on spring break at my mom's house hammering out this entry on my laptop on the kitchen table in the quiet dark. today i went to IU to visit anna and donate blood (maybe the massive blood loss helps explain my sucky writing) and tomorrow i will watch my brother danny portray a dancing sausage at 7:45 AM and then its off to anderson to visit joshua thomas ratliff. Damn, I feel woozy...

What have i done to myself in the last eight months? I took massive course overloads and got high on knowledge. I write for the paper now, but I still hate journalism. my editor dislikes me because the paper is all one big joke in my mind, and i write like it is. And I think I misplaced Jesus. And ive been sick all the time - this one time I got a two-week head cold and pink-eye at the same time.

Ive taken a lot of freakin engineering, math, and science courses and have gained a lot of knowledge, but i feel i have narrowed my mind. The subject matter of all my courses may be different, but the method of thinking the courses demand is essentially the same. i've had too much math - i miss reading books. By the way, if anyone wants to see any cool math tricks, talk to me (anyone want to see me add an infinite sequence of positive integers and achieve a negative sum?)

i have been blessed with the strange ability to take 24 freakin credit hours this winter and pull off a 4.0 and then sign up for 22 hours in the spring (i'll probably get a 4.0). how is this possible!? i have anna! ive gone to visit her nearly every weekend since school started, first by bumming rides, then via mark's truck, and now in my grandmother's old buick (which is a sweet freakin ride). when i come back from iu to face the next week i am rejuvinated and reborn unto the world of classes (until friday afternoon when i go to iu again).

anna, anna, anna... all the time i am seeing this girl. its awesome.

but do i spend enough time with my friends at rose-hulman!?

awesome news - i got an internship at cummins over the summer (CMEP, doing controls something-or-other).

if anyone from columbus is reading this - drop me a line, i miss you!

my first day of real college... awesome

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 01:58:14 GMT

Today was the finally the first day of classes at Rose. I had all five of my classes today: Physics I, Chem Honors, Holography and Photography, Intro to Logic and Design, and Differential Equations. All my professors are middle-aged, white, brown-haired, clean-cut, enthusiastc-about-teaching gentlemen. Except for my DE prof, Dr. Sherman.
Dr. Sherman is nearing retirement and is very angry and opinionated. He is strongly opposed to the use of math software like Maple and is going to have us do nearly everything by hand. Unlike my other professors, Dr. Sherman will not be collecting any homework this term (he is also strongly opposed to collecting homework). Dr. Sherman lectures at a furious pace in a low, gruff voice and he curses like a sailor (Ilost count of the vulgarities after the first dozen damns). All this and he looks just like Leonard Nemoy (only older)! It is a very entertaining class; I love it. I feel especially lucky because the other half of the Fast-Trackers got Dr. Leisner for DE, and they said that he's boring as hell.
Anyways, my schedule is looking pretty good this fall. I'm actually in class for 20 hours (26 hours every other week for labs). Physics will be a breeze since it's all review, Holo. and Photo. is a no-pressure class, and I've heard that the only hard part about Intro to Logic and Design is a massive project at the end of the quarter. Chem Honors will definitely be a lot of work, but Karen Kirchman is in my class and she's way better at chemistry than I am, so I can talk to Karen if I'm ever in a tight spot.
By the way, anyone who was in AP English with me: remember Rachel, that girl who was in our class for like a month junior year? She is at Rose now and will major in chemistry (in case you were curious).

freshman orientation.

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 21:46:08 GMT

Freshman orientation this week. Its not that interesting for me, because I already did all the important orientation stuff this summer.
Im living with my roommate for the year, though. His name is Luke, he is majoring in chemical engineering right now, and hes a really good guy. We have similar sleeping schedules, too, so that works out.
The really good news is that I rocked the German test. I now have 24 credits of German - I have a minor in German already! That brings me up to a total of 47 credits already - just a few credits away from sophomore status. I could graduate in three years, get a masters in 4, or take a lot of courses that don't really fit into a degree but are just hella interesting.

Unfortunately, though, I don't have any wheels. My parents are concerned about my study habits so they don't want me to have a car at college right now.

I miss Columbus. If you are from Columbus and you're reading this, I miss you, too.

Fast Track, Week 2

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 04:00:34 GMT

Fast Track Calculus started pretty rough for everyone, but I feel like I've adapted pretty well, like I've found my rhythm. Yeah, rhythm is a good word to describe it - I go to bed and get up at the same time every day, do calculus for 12 hours, wind down for 4 hours, and go to bed. Meal and lecture times are always pretty much the same, and I always go to bed at night realizing that I learned a crap load of stuff today. And it feels really good. I'm really enjoying myself! It makes me feel really confident about in choice to go here and get a degree in engineering, because I think it really is the best fit for me.
Right now, I think I will major in Bio-medical engineering, because I'm really interested in mechanical engineering, elictrical engineering, and biology. It would also satisfy my long-term goal: if I'm going to be an engineer all my life, I want to be designing things that are truly helpful to society...
But enough of that crap. Im going to bed.

Oh, crap, Im in college now.

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 02:31:06 GMT

Ok, so first of all props to everyone who showed up Thursday for the show. It was freakin fun. This whole week was like a wonderful dream... I got to play one more show and hanging out with my friends was so great and being with anna all the time was amazing. But now Im back in school. The counselors briefed us today on the program - they were basically all "you guys will be up until midnight or later every night doing homework. This class lasts 30 weeks during the school year - you will do it in 5." Goody. All the counselors are Fast Track graduates. They are also all a year ahead and double majoring. Wow. Anyways, I got my laptop and my new e-mail address, so ill send it to everyone and stuff, just not right now. Ive pulled two all-nighters in the last three nights. I feel really crappy. But one really positive thing about being here - so we were taking a test today, and some of us got done early, so we brought up the test and sat back down, and Professor Graves was like, "you know, you guys can just leave now. This isnt high school anymore." We can even leave on the weekends or stay out as late as we want as long as we do every single homework problem and get at least an 80% on each assignment (theyre really strict about homework.) So, more about this crap later. Im turning in.

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 19:23:31 GMT

RBG is playing a show on Thursday 9:00 at the fair. Just thought id get the word out.

I'm back from Michigan and I've lost my ability to spell:

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 15:29:22 GMT

I got back from camping in the upper peninsula last night. It was raining for like four days up there. But it was cool because i got to spend some time with chris without megan being around. But, of course, as soon as we got home he went strait to megan's house. Hes over there again this morning, meaning he'll either be over there all day or bring megan back here. Its the same thing every day, and personally I don't like it one bit. Its not that I dislike megan, its just that I don't like her enough to enjoy her being around my brother every freakin day and at my house all the time. Plus, i think chris is wasting a lot of time by doing almost nothing but hanging around with megan. He doesn't work as much as he could, and he even skipped work last week. Both his employer and Mom had no idea where he and megan were. And there are several incidents and accidents like this several times a week - leaving messes everywhere, breaking curfew, not telling anyone where youre going, etc. He seems to have lost a lot of accountability. But this is all just my opinion, of course. I bet the real reason im being so bitchy about is that i miss my brother.
And speaking of opinions, I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 recently, and i liked it overall. Of course there were faults and exaggerations and sensationalism and hypocrosy on the part of Michael Moore, but he put a s***load of work into it and I personally got a lot out of it. I made sure to read a few articles critiquing the film before I went, articles that picked apart some of the scenes, illuminating what was exaggerated or simply false, so I felt I was more or less an informed viewer. The film reminded me of the Florida election - the shady circumstances surrounding the Bush victory and the subsequent egging at his inaugeration. Also, the fact that we only sent 11,000 troops to Aghanistan but over 100,000 to Iraq causes me to raise an eyebrow. Why did we botch the war on terror but make sure to turn Iraq into a democracy?
Before I saw the movie, I was going to vote for Nader or nobody. Now I just want Bush to lose. So vote Kerry, or I'll give you a knuckle sandwich! Too bad Indiana will go to Bush.
I have 8 days of summer left. Now im gonna go unpack all that camping crap.

The dog days draw to a close

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 15:45:08 GMT

I'll be in Michigan all this week and then the week i get back is my last week of summer, a week sure to be full of desperate exuberance and anxious anticipation. The dog days, the blessed summer haze, all my lazy, crazy ways, they are all over today.
I got my AP scores by phone. In case you care:
Chemistry - 3 (It's better than 1 or 2)
Literature - 4 (It's not a 5, but it is worth the same to Rose)
Language - 5
Calc BC - 5
I'm very happy with how those turned out.

The summer haze still thick around me...

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 20:53:31 GMT

Saturday night I was in Indianapolis at a huge banquet for all the Lilly recipients in Indiana. Everyone got a program of all the winners, with their pictures, hometown, college and major, and some of their activities. Needless to say, there were a lot of recipients who appeared to be pretty brilliant people (presidential scholars etc.). 29 Lilly scholars are going to Rose, over 60 to Purdue, and over 40 to IU (in case you were curious). Quick story - the speaker at the dinner was a world-renowned astro-physicist and the director of the Hubble program. He's Romanian, so don't ask me to spell his name. Anyways, he talked for over an hour about the nature of the Universe - Big Bang theory, anti-matter, dark matter and energy, all very interesting stuff. Then there was a question and answer session. Good, thoughtful questions about the presentation. But then, the mic was handed to a lady in the back who asked, in more words or less,
"I have always been fascinated by sattelite TV, how they can send a picture into space and it will come back and it won't get messed up or anything. How do they send pictures into space and back like that and will they ever be able to transport people the same way?"
Wow. The whole room erupts in muffled laughter and commentary. "Beam me up, Scottie", says Mark, my step-dad. Go Indiana.
I'm going to Fahrenheit 9/11 tonight in B-town with Anna. It'll be cool.

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 21:52:00 GMT

To anyone who cares:
Tomorrow (Friday) night Ben and Josh are playing at Color Me Mine. I'll be playing a short solo set when they take a break. I can't wait.

The Dog Days

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 03:51:36 GMT

The dog days of summer - days of heat and humidity, nothing to do yet no time to sleep, a pleasant drowsiness drifting me back and forth in lackadaisical splendor.
It's like I'm in an opium den 24/7.
I've never been happier to be in a stupor and I'll gladly ignore the fact that every day that dies brings me just a bit closer to my reunion with reality. No, reality is the wrong word. Responsibility. Anyways, I know it's coming, the evidence is irrefutable. Today I got my first homework assignment from Rose - a thick, AP packet-esque, long-awaited surprise in my mail, including specific instrctions to complete it all without notes in one session no more than four hours long. Show all work, as exposition and legibility counts. Cool. I'll do it later.
I also found out that Rose will be rooming all Fast-Trackers in the same dorm this summer, so I'll get to move in again in the fall. Oh, well.
I read The Giver today for the first time. It was delightful. It makes me want to be able to remember my life more clearly. For some reason, I have never put great emphasis on memory (except in the classroom), and I usually will only rehash my own experiences if prompted to do so. What is the appropriate amount of thought to put in to persomal reflection? I'll have to think about that.
All I know is that I'm having a hell of a time this summer. After the crunch of the spring I feel so blessed to have enough time to run every day, to read two books a week, to learn songs I want to, to study the things I want to learn about, to spend time with the people I care about, and who care about me.
Long live the Dog Days of summer.

Back from vacation, beginning hibernation...

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 03:25:18 GMT

After a 20 hour drive from Miami to Columbus I have returned to my house finding I have no job, no car, and nothing to do but write thank you notes. (by the way, thank you to everyone who came to my party. It was a rockin' party). Anyways, for the first time since I can remember I will have the luxury of free time. For the next few days, it will be awesome. Then BAM!, I'll wake up one morning and it will be boring... it will be waking up to 16 hours of nothing to do but eat!
This summer will be an excersise in creativity - in making my own fun, in occupying myself constructively. I can do anything I want - get back in to a harder training program, practice guitar/write songs for hours, read, maybe even teach myself something useful, like basic computer programming or something.
I will also have all the time in the world to hang out with my friends - something i havnt been able to do much of during the school year.
I'm looking forward to it.

I am born again

Sun, 23 May 2004 04:57:56 GMT

Ive spent the last three months on my OTP. And now its over. Awesome.
Ive spent the last year and a half exploring every possibility and going to great lengths to ensure I can actually go to a great school, like Rose Hulman. And now thats over. Awesome.
Ive spent the last two years working at Tom Pickett's Music Center, teaching guitar lessons to move towards financial independance. And I have plenty of cash - next week is my last. Awesome.
Ive spent the last 12 years under the guidance of the Bartholomew Consolidated School Corporation. And it, too, is over. Awesome.
Ive spent my whole life under the supervision, guidance, and financial support of my parents. On July 18, all that will change.
And I am ready. Some people cling to their past, spending these last days in sugar-coated reminiscences.
But I look to the future in excited anticipation. Especially after my OTP, High School seems to be too small for my tastes - I'm ready to be challenged, I'm ready to grow. I'm ready to discover the true "size of my mind". Have I accomplished much in high school? Yes, a lot. But I've got to forget because once I move in to Rose I'm back to Square One.
How did my OTP go, anyways? It went very well, but I somehow want more - I felt like my research was too shallow - I didnt have enough time! - so maybe I'll try a similar project again in college. I mostly just hope that people learned something from my speech, or at least have something to ponder. Oh, well, whats done is done.
So, what am I doing this summer? Nothing. Jack squat. Just going to Florida again and maybe vacations with the family. Other than that? Practice, , find some paying gigs with the jazz combo, try to get in shape again, do calculus homework for my first day at Rose. (yes, theyre sending my calculus homework).

ummmmm... my brain hurts

Thu, 06 May 2004 03:49:25 GMT

AP calc test today, and I actually studied for it, and i felt pretty good about it. but im still going to join Fast Track Calculus.
Whats Fast Track Calculus, you ask? Fast Track Calculus is a summer program for freshmen at Rose-Hulman. It is a five-week course where we will learn Calc I, II, and III (all of freshman calc). Technically, Ive already learned Calc I and II, but a review would be really nice before next fall and i could meet professors, make friends, move in five weeks early, and get accustomed to the intensity of Rose-Hulman. All while doing calculus for 8 hours a day. I cant wait!

hooray for books

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:15:30 GMT

Spent all of yesterday in the IU library looking at book, and let me tell you there are a crap load of books there (11 floors). While I'm there I find out that apparantly, since I am an Indiana resident, I can get a borrowers card and check out books. Hooray! So I found about ten secondary sources pertaining to my OTP and I discarded the six that i was least likely to understand. So I feel much better about the position I'm in. I'll finish my second book today so theres only one more to go. I have two to pick from: Hundejahre (which is 900 pages long, so i dont think so) or Im Krebsgang (which was written last year, so I'll kinda be all alone on the interpretation - no secondary sources).

I got a very interesting message on my machine today: it was from the dean of admissions at Olin College, the elite and experimental new school that turned me down. They changed there mind. It doesnt make a difference, because I'm still going to Rose, but it is still a moral victory. And it will feel good to call them back and turn them down.

The long-awaited update of the magnificent Alexander

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 04:09:10 GMT

Surgeon General's Warning: The following slop contains toxic levels of melodrama. Avoid if pregnant.

I'm losing my mind. Not in the bad way, but certainly not in the good way either. Symptoms include paranoia, mood swings from manic depression (over something that happened last summer) to a disconcerting giddiness, memory lapses, and most of all: paranoia. I have long suspected that everyone secretly hates me at least some of the time, and my suspicions have swelled ever since my fortunate winning of the beloved Lilly. Plus I have a crappy senior picture. Ugh. My parents offered me a car to take to college today. I was very flattered, but of course I declined. I can't wait to go to Rose and disappear in some dark lab or some math problems. Maybe I'll also learn how to spell disappear.
So what is the point of the last month of high school? I'll learn some stuff, make some money, and not too much else. I'm kind of all out of freinds. I'm always at work and now everybody else is chasing women or jazz music or somethingotherthanalexicantstandthatguyanymore. I havn't been to lunch with Ben in a while. Even Chris, my freind, brother, and alter-ego is never around.
Will I find a friend or girlfriend or retreat once again to a social cocoon? (mmmmm... social cocoon) I guess it doesn't matter, since college will esentially hit the reset button on my life. All I can do now is continue to grow in my love of numbers and words and continue to recoil from the passionate pursuits of people. I miss people...
I also miss being good at writing. I got two papers back today - Mod. Lit (A-/A-) and English (133/150). Two lackluster but good enough for a 4th quarter senior grades indeed.
Ok so today was really weird though i hardly remember any of it. All i know is the parts i do remember make me sick to my stomach. Sometimes I feel like a freak,

But who knows what tomorrow could bring?

staring at my vomit in a toilet bowl

Wed, 31 Mar 2004 04:02:43 GMT

strange how you need to get sick to feel good.
anyways, i have been very ill for the past few days, but im feeling great now. Im still not going to school tomorrow, though. Im going to stay home and do my math test and my english paper and hope i get the Lilly (which i find out about tomorrow). I was turned down for the Beerman (a full ride scholarship to Purdue) and for Olin, so i figure im bound to get the Lilly, right? we'll see, i guess.
I visited Purdue yesterday. It was pretty good, i guess, though it is really freakin big. Like tens of thousands of students big. And if i dont get the Lilly, thats where im going. luckily, they have a great study abroad program, and that was one of my goals of going to college anyways, to get very far away from home.
Interesting fact: Only 1% of all American engineering students study abroad.
anyways, have fun at school tomorrow everyone

I feel like a bag of crap.

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 02:32:30 GMT

Olin turned me down.
I wasted my whole Spring Break on a ridiculous whim.
I'm still over a week behind in all my classes.

uh oh, spaghettio's

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 01:21:06 GMT

Got a letter from Purdue today - they turned me down for the Beereman scholarship, a full-ride. So that narrows it down to either Olin, the Lilly, or the Keller, or else I'm actually going to be paying for college (poor, poor me). In anticipation of Spring Break, I've done no homework since like last Wednesday. I suck.
Anyways, Spring Break is going to be awesome. I'm not going anywhere (maybe to anderson to visit Josh) which is just fine with me. It will definitely give me time to get some OTP work done. I cant wait. I am excited and exhausted at the same time and really mostly just wishing it was March 20. This could be a long 10 days.

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 13:12:00 GMT

I havnt updated in a while. I actually did type out a pretty good entry last week, but then there was an error in the servor and it was never posted. Oh, well. Anyways, it is 8 in the morning, so most of you are at school, but I am packed and ready to go to Boston for an interview at Olin College of Engineering. This school freakin rocks: the dorms are new, the faculty is world-renowned, and if you get in you get a full-ride. They only take 75 students a year, though. Right now they have it narrowed down to 150 candidates, so I have a 50/50 shot. This weekend will mostly consist of team problem solving and there will be one twenty-minute interview for each of us. I will find out if I am accepted or not on March 20, the last Saturday of Spring Break. A thousand thank you's to Carly for helping me with my nametag! Bye, everybody, I'll be back Sunday.

My brain hurts

Sat, 28 Feb 2004 00:08:26 GMT

Got to bed at 5 last night. 'Nuff said.
Other than that, things are going fine, I just feel really busy. Many scholarship deadlines are approaching and in one week I will be at Olin College. If only I knew whether or not I got the Lily or into Olin. If either of those possibilities were realized, I wouldn't need to do any more applications. That would be sweet.

Ray Charles is wicked awesome

Wed, 18 Feb 2004 02:55:40 GMT

I just finished my senior project in 20:46. It was awesome. Luckily, everything I needed (including a filled out service learning form from last year) was in my enormous binder! I guess I'll graduate after all.
The chapter I read in die Blechtrommel today was very moving. By the way, the book is basically a historical fantasy book, chronicalling the life of a Polish dwarf from the Nazi rise to power to the 1960's. The chapter was about Kristelnacht (the night of shattered glass), the first large-scale public Nazi oppression of Jews. It was truly disturbing, and although the novel is historical, there is chilling religious and political symbolism throughout (mostly revolving around killing cats in this chapter). Its really complex, and unfortunately I'm not fluent/smart enough to catch probably most of Grass' genious. I'm definitely re-reading this book in five years. Its so freakin good, they should have given Grass a life-time supply of nobel prizes instead of just one. Sorry for rambling, but I really really like this book, better then AtKM even.
Ray Charles is really freakin awesome. This "Best of Ray Charles" CD I got at Aldis for $2 is one of the best investments I have ever made.

They will see us waiting from such great heights...

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 02:54:32 GMT

Last night, Valentines Day, I was planning to spend the evening at home, reading for my OTP. Instead, on a spur of the moment decision, I called up Alyssa, got a friendly date, and had a great time. I also finally saw Lost in Translation. It was ok.
And today was spent going to church, reading 50 pages in die Blechtrommel, reading Wuthering Heights, doing four sections of Calculus. Not a moment was wasted, except for the time I'm taking to write this crap. Three weeks to Olin!